Week 32

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I went to the doc today. Everything is movin along. Baby is measuring perfect and the heartbeat was 154. A LOT faster than last time but I attribute that to the Chi Vanilla Latte I pounded before my appointment. It was a rough morning and if I could have started it with a shot of tequila I so would have.

The doc made a comment about fast heartbeats and boys and she said her boy showed the same characteristics as the monkey and ended up being over 9lbs and two weeks early. This would concern most people but since I’m having a C section I’m like bring it on! Then she proceeded to say bigger babies sleep better. I’m like…seriously!! She responded casually…no…I made it up. I just look at her in disbelief…so you’re lying to me…now!! The pregnant one that has gained 32 pounds to date, that is having horrible back pain, the one sitting up here on the table that just had her feet in stirrups and your hand up her ho ha! She gave me a hug and said I just wanted to you to feel better. Uhm…thanks?

The boy had THREE meltdowns this morning THREE. I guess we were due but boy…when are you going to figure out mom does NOT do mornings. First we got dressed then it was time to turn the TV off, heaven forbid I turn the TV off in the middle of cartoons. I should be locked up due to the lack of consideration. So that was ten minutes I will never get back. Then…it was show and tell day honoring the letter G. Really, does G really need recognition? How about B, I have B stuff out the wazoo, today it HAD to be G. Is there NOTHING in our house that fits in a cubby that starts with a letter G? Ten more minutes of my life I will never get back and a wailing four year old driving to preschool and why am I not a stay at home mom? As I’m driving like a bat to get the boy to school so I can go to my doctor that is 45 minutes away (40 on a good day) I calm down and explain to my dear boy that ten minutes of a temper tantrum plus ten minutes trying to look for a G toy make for an upset mommy that becomes late for her doc appointment and he should try to be more considerate in the future. As a show of good faith and understanding he proceeds to have a meltdown outside of this classroom and doesn’t want me to leave. YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS! We just had the talk; you said you understood; we agreed; give me something.

Then and there I take a deep breath and kneel down to my son, wipe away his tears and give him a big hug. I tell him mommy is irritable this morning and it has been a tough morning for all of us and how about we start over. I say to him…”good morning” and he gives me this look like “WTF…I’m at school, we are dressed I’ve had three meltdowns…good morning??? Are you off your meds?” But I digress, I take him to get some breakfast in the café and he is rewarded with a pop tart. Back in his classroom I pull out his chair, give him another hug and kiss and all is right in the world, after the three shots of tequila I keep stashed under my seats for mornings such as this.

Breathe Deeply

Oh yeah my back was in spasms all day yesterday. I went to the chiropractor…the BEST chiropractor in the whole wide world and he attempted to fix me. I only visit when I need fixin, that’s part of my problem. He adjusted me but unfortunately this time I didn’t get the quick fix I so enjoyed last time. I was pretty much down for the count when I got home. Every time I tried to walk my left side would grab. You could find me at any given area in the house by the sound of air being sucked through my teeth from the pain. Evidently the boy was having chronic back pains too; mom couldn’t have ALL the attention, selfish.

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