The family met with the counselor yesterday afternoon and received a tremendous amount of coaching and encouragement. Our son is not a bad seed, we’re not bad parents, and we’re not screwing him up. Whoo…that’s all I needed.
Seriously, the boy was in true form yesterday afternoon. We walked into the doctor’s office and he sat in his own chair, he didn’t obviously feel he needed to be protected by his parents, and began answering questions the doctor asked him. He answered all of them very articulate and to the point. Then the doctor turned to us and asked who the intellectual was in our family. I immediately turned to the hubby and said it sure didn’t come from my side.
In a nutshell what was confirmed is that our son has advanced critical skills but is lacking socially. CHECK. He doesn’t like circle time because he doesn’t want to conform, he wants to lead. CHECK. The biting, spitting and hitting is a form of acting out because he is bored and not stimulated which frustrates him. CHECK. Taking TV away and sending him to his room is not affective at his age because he is unable to think abstractly and understand he did something 5 hours ago and mom and dad are mad and disappointed. The only thing that he sees is that we are disappointed and he wants to fix it and will say and do anything to rectify the situation at that moment. CHECK.
Solution: Look for a Montessori school. They tend to have smaller classes and focus on the child’s needs and skills. Also it was suggested that we get the boy into something to do with the arts; music, dance, or piano lessons in order to allow him to explore his creative side.
We gained some insight and we will try it out. The hard part is the Montessori school. There is one somewhat close to our house but the hubby and I need to decide when the right time would be for the move if we do decided to go that route. I’m thinking the fall since the baby is coming this summer and that is going to be enough of an adjustment for the boy.
I think the hubby and I need to sit and talk with Seth’s teacher and principle so we are all on the same page and perhaps can agree on some adjustments to make all of our lives a bit easier.
All in all I’m glad we took the boy in and received some helpful advice on how to handle behavior and adjustment situations; sounds like he is going to keep us on our toes for the next 18 years.